Saturday, November 13, 2010

I Hate You: Robin Williams

I hate you Robin Williams.  Seriously.  Why are you like that?  For a long time you had the "coked up" excuse but now?  What gives?  I'm serious, what happened in your life that you turned into a spastic in a gorilla suit that you seem to be unable to remove.  What?  That's just your body hair?  Disgusting.  I often wonder from how far away I might be able to smell you.  I mean, you look like you smell....real bad.  Like the inside of a turtle shell.  Or the wet suit of a really fat guy who spent the day having fun and scuba diving.  I think you probably smell like middle school wrestling mats but don't have the balls to confirm my suspicions as I'd like to continue to be able to smell and taste food.  Have you ever made me laugh?  No.  Have you ever made anyone I know laugh?  I hope not.  There is one movie of yours that I find oddly hilarious.  It's called Club Paradise and it's only funny because it basically has the entire cast of SCTV in their primes supporting you and it's only funny for forty minutes.  Plus Peter O'Toole and Jimmy Cliff.  Nothing you say in the movie is funny.  All of the good lines are taken by Eugen Levy, Rick Moranis and Andrea Martin and you expect me to believe your character was a fireman when he was clearly a level 2 sex offender.  I hate you.

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