Hey, man, what the fuck? Why can I hear you eating popcorn three rows away? Does your mouth have odd acoustics that amplify the munching of popped corn kernals? No? Yes? Which is it? Why can I hear you? It's kind of making me sick. It's definitely making me not want to eat my own popcorn. Why is the bag holding your popcorn making so much noise as well? You have got to be doing this on purpose. Do you get off on crinkling paper snack bags? Are you on some pervert shit over there? Seriously. I mean seriously, what gives? Why is it everyone but you can enjoy their popcorn demurely and without notice by anyone else in the theater? You're going at that stuff like some kind of Viking hell bent on the destruction of popcorn bags everywhere. I don't understand. Why can I hear you eating? I'm trying to enjoy this Kurt Russell movie and all I can hear is you twisting and ripping your popcorn bag in half while you try to get at the last edible morsel of corn like a starving stray dog. What the fuck?
(Incidentally I found this photo on a stock photo website by google searching "man eating popcorn" and its title is Asian Man Eating Popcorn on Sofa with Remote Control.)
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