Saturday, November 13, 2010
I Hate You: Robin Williams
I hate you Robin Williams. Seriously. Why are you like that? For a long time you had the "coked up" excuse but now? What gives? I'm serious, what happened in your life that you turned into a spastic in a gorilla suit that you seem to be unable to remove. What? That's just your body hair? Disgusting. I often wonder from how far away I might be able to smell you. I mean, you look like you smell....real bad. Like the inside of a turtle shell. Or the wet suit of a really fat guy who spent the day having fun and scuba diving. I think you probably smell like middle school wrestling mats but don't have the balls to confirm my suspicions as I'd like to continue to be able to smell and taste food. Have you ever made me laugh? No. Have you ever made anyone I know laugh? I hope not. There is one movie of yours that I find oddly hilarious. It's called Club Paradise and it's only funny because it basically has the entire cast of SCTV in their primes supporting you and it's only funny for forty minutes. Plus Peter O'Toole and Jimmy Cliff. Nothing you say in the movie is funny. All of the good lines are taken by Eugen Levy, Rick Moranis and Andrea Martin and you expect me to believe your character was a fireman when he was clearly a level 2 sex offender. I hate you.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Recently Revisited: Dune
Dune
The other night I mentioned to Lauren that I had probably seen Dune only once or twice. Though there is the distinct possibility that my dad took me to see it in the theater, I don't remember. She was aghast, it being one of her very favorite movies to watch repeatedly. I told her it was also my least favorite David Lynch movie which may or may not still be true, I'm not sure. I never finished Inland Empire so I think that has to technically be my least favorite. The next night we watched it, thanks Netflix, and I have to say that I think it was better than I originally thought.
Dune is known for being a huge flop, check out this review by Roger Ebert. He really rakes it over the coals. I'm not going to champion Dune for being some sort of cinematic masterpiece but I don't think it's that bad. He fairly compares it to Star Wars and it does come up short in that regard but at this point I was comparing it to other David Lynch movies. It made for kind of a fun watch, looking for spaces to find David Lynch in the movie. Not the actor just his style. Although how funny would it have been if Gordon from Twin Peaks showed up during basically any scene in the movie. The mind boggles. Also I didn't know Big Ed from Twin Peaks was in it at all. That was fucking awesome.
Watching this movie again I was also left to wonder, why is it that David Lynch is the only director who can get a decent performance out of Kyle Maclachlan? Seriously he sucks in everything else. He will always have a place in my heart for his role in Showgirls though (a movie my dad and I definitely saw in the theater).
I did have to keep asking Lauren questions about why the characters were doing the things they were doing and I did get seriously grossed out by the fat guy's disgusting boils but I liked the movie nonetheless. I just sort of liked the odd pageantry of it. Yeah, the special effects sucked and the acting was fair at best but there is something about it that I just kind of got into. I still have to say it's the worst David Lynch movie I've finished watching though.
The other night I mentioned to Lauren that I had probably seen Dune only once or twice. Though there is the distinct possibility that my dad took me to see it in the theater, I don't remember. She was aghast, it being one of her very favorite movies to watch repeatedly. I told her it was also my least favorite David Lynch movie which may or may not still be true, I'm not sure. I never finished Inland Empire so I think that has to technically be my least favorite. The next night we watched it, thanks Netflix, and I have to say that I think it was better than I originally thought.
Dune is known for being a huge flop, check out this review by Roger Ebert. He really rakes it over the coals. I'm not going to champion Dune for being some sort of cinematic masterpiece but I don't think it's that bad. He fairly compares it to Star Wars and it does come up short in that regard but at this point I was comparing it to other David Lynch movies. It made for kind of a fun watch, looking for spaces to find David Lynch in the movie. Not the actor just his style. Although how funny would it have been if Gordon from Twin Peaks showed up during basically any scene in the movie. The mind boggles. Also I didn't know Big Ed from Twin Peaks was in it at all. That was fucking awesome.
Watching this movie again I was also left to wonder, why is it that David Lynch is the only director who can get a decent performance out of Kyle Maclachlan? Seriously he sucks in everything else. He will always have a place in my heart for his role in Showgirls though (a movie my dad and I definitely saw in the theater).
I did have to keep asking Lauren questions about why the characters were doing the things they were doing and I did get seriously grossed out by the fat guy's disgusting boils but I liked the movie nonetheless. I just sort of liked the odd pageantry of it. Yeah, the special effects sucked and the acting was fair at best but there is something about it that I just kind of got into. I still have to say it's the worst David Lynch movie I've finished watching though.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Last Train Home
Last Train Home
This is easily the most affecting movie I've seen all year. I felt so sad and demoralized (yes even more than usual) after seeing it that I felt like I needed to change multiple aspects of the way I live. It is basically the story of a family but also of a country and culture. The parents in the film left home when their kids were very young to work in a factory in one of the bigger cities. Subsequently their children never really grew to love them or even know them. It creates a strained dichotomy to say the least. They are only able to travel home once a year for the Chinese New Year and it is a struggle even then. 130 Million Chinese travel to the country from the cities every year at this time and it is the largest migration of human beings in the world.
The work the parents do, sewing clothes in a factory, appears brain numbing and crushing. The camera's let us peer very intimately into their lives. I was surprised and impressed by the camera work. Despite the film's subject matter, it is one of the more beautiful movies I have seen in a long time. Their children live in their village on a farm with their grandmother. It seems like it would be fun to me but I'm not a seventeen year old Chinese girl (yet).
As the film progresses the couple's oldest child, the aforementioned 17 year old, drops out of school and goes to work in a factory and then a nightclub in a different big city. It is heartbreaking to watch the family crumble after her decision. She seems so insolent and unwilling to look at what her parents are doing for her. At the same time, I remember being 17 and wanting me own place in life. However, my family's situation wasn't nearly as dire and my decision to drink Colt .45 behind the Kwik Shop across from my high school didn't carry nearly the consequence.
Watching this movie at first made me want to never by any products made in China. I'm not sure if that is possible, even with my thrift shop lifestyle. But on closer inspection it made me wonder if we all started doing that, would happen to these factory workers and their families. There's no way they could return to an agricultural system at this point. We seem locked in together.
The best compliment I can think of to give this movie is that if it were not a documentary I would have enjoyed it just as immensely. The director, Lixin Fan, was able to give us all sides of each main character as well as deeper insight into Chinese culture. I really can't speak highly enough for this film.
This is easily the most affecting movie I've seen all year. I felt so sad and demoralized (yes even more than usual) after seeing it that I felt like I needed to change multiple aspects of the way I live. It is basically the story of a family but also of a country and culture. The parents in the film left home when their kids were very young to work in a factory in one of the bigger cities. Subsequently their children never really grew to love them or even know them. It creates a strained dichotomy to say the least. They are only able to travel home once a year for the Chinese New Year and it is a struggle even then. 130 Million Chinese travel to the country from the cities every year at this time and it is the largest migration of human beings in the world.
The work the parents do, sewing clothes in a factory, appears brain numbing and crushing. The camera's let us peer very intimately into their lives. I was surprised and impressed by the camera work. Despite the film's subject matter, it is one of the more beautiful movies I have seen in a long time. Their children live in their village on a farm with their grandmother. It seems like it would be fun to me but I'm not a seventeen year old Chinese girl (yet).
As the film progresses the couple's oldest child, the aforementioned 17 year old, drops out of school and goes to work in a factory and then a nightclub in a different big city. It is heartbreaking to watch the family crumble after her decision. She seems so insolent and unwilling to look at what her parents are doing for her. At the same time, I remember being 17 and wanting me own place in life. However, my family's situation wasn't nearly as dire and my decision to drink Colt .45 behind the Kwik Shop across from my high school didn't carry nearly the consequence.
Watching this movie at first made me want to never by any products made in China. I'm not sure if that is possible, even with my thrift shop lifestyle. But on closer inspection it made me wonder if we all started doing that, would happen to these factory workers and their families. There's no way they could return to an agricultural system at this point. We seem locked in together.
The best compliment I can think of to give this movie is that if it were not a documentary I would have enjoyed it just as immensely. The director, Lixin Fan, was able to give us all sides of each main character as well as deeper insight into Chinese culture. I really can't speak highly enough for this film.
I Hate You: Renee Zellweger
I hate you Renee Zellweger. Your attempt to make up for your lack of acting "chops" by scrunching up your face and squinting with you eyes bothers me to no end. It is possible that you are a perfectly nice person in real life. I will grant you that. But I suspect you are the type of friend that everyone makes fun of behind their back despite being a famous movie star. I've hated you in so many movies I went to IMDb.com and counted them. It's 16. And that's just the movies I've for some reason seen. I didn't even count Dazed and Confused since you were uncredited. But I did count Reality Bites even though I don't remember you in that movie at all. I'm just banking on the fact that you made a sour face while someone was acting next to you. I'm ashamed you played Beatrix Potter. I find Lauren's cat more convincing when he tries to trick me into feeding him again than I've ever found you in any performance.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia
The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia
This is one of those documentaries that falls into the "Look at the Crazy" category. And these people are crazy. Crazy scary, or scary crazy I can't tell which. I'm hard pressed to decide on what is the scariest part of this movie. Every character is terrifying. Every single member of this family bothered me on some deep human level. I'm glad it's only an hour and a half long because I'm not sure I could take more. Though I could watch endless clips of them trying to order mozzarella sticks at Taco bell
At one point one Kirk White does a few lines of oxy in her hospital room immediately after giving birth to her baby. The baby is subsequently taken away to her dismay. She does agree to go into treatment to get her baby back but admits that she'll just start back up as soon as she is out. Though by the end of the movie she has been clean for three months and granted visitation rights.
The party they have before she goes into rehab is pretty fascinating, four or five women with really deep voices (seriously one of them, Sue Bob, has a voice deeper than Dr. Girlfriend's from the Venture Brothers) doing weird "sexy" dances with each other in the parking lot of a bowling alley. I've frequently heard oxycontin referred to as Hillbilly Heroin but never have I seen a slang term so vividly come to life.
The White's do, however, have their good qualities. They are at times a fiercely loyal family. The family matriarch, Bertie Mae White took in over thirty orphans and raised them as her own. I suppose you could ask to what end, but that's not something I'd do or anyone in my family would consider doing. It is actually pretty touching when Jesco White tours his family cemetery. I don't know that the White family is that different than a lot of other backwoods West Virginia coal families are but they've been singled out due to D. Ray White's prominence as a mountain dancer. A tradition which Jesco mastered and was featured in The Dancing Outlaw. These are people who have the deck continually stacked against them, as do most of the poor people in this country but as D Ray and Bertie Mae's oldest daughter says at the end, "At least people know who the fuck we are."
This is one of those documentaries that falls into the "Look at the Crazy" category. And these people are crazy. Crazy scary, or scary crazy I can't tell which. I'm hard pressed to decide on what is the scariest part of this movie. Every character is terrifying. Every single member of this family bothered me on some deep human level. I'm glad it's only an hour and a half long because I'm not sure I could take more. Though I could watch endless clips of them trying to order mozzarella sticks at Taco bell
At one point one Kirk White does a few lines of oxy in her hospital room immediately after giving birth to her baby. The baby is subsequently taken away to her dismay. She does agree to go into treatment to get her baby back but admits that she'll just start back up as soon as she is out. Though by the end of the movie she has been clean for three months and granted visitation rights.
The party they have before she goes into rehab is pretty fascinating, four or five women with really deep voices (seriously one of them, Sue Bob, has a voice deeper than Dr. Girlfriend's from the Venture Brothers) doing weird "sexy" dances with each other in the parking lot of a bowling alley. I've frequently heard oxycontin referred to as Hillbilly Heroin but never have I seen a slang term so vividly come to life.
The White's do, however, have their good qualities. They are at times a fiercely loyal family. The family matriarch, Bertie Mae White took in over thirty orphans and raised them as her own. I suppose you could ask to what end, but that's not something I'd do or anyone in my family would consider doing. It is actually pretty touching when Jesco White tours his family cemetery. I don't know that the White family is that different than a lot of other backwoods West Virginia coal families are but they've been singled out due to D. Ray White's prominence as a mountain dancer. A tradition which Jesco mastered and was featured in The Dancing Outlaw. These are people who have the deck continually stacked against them, as do most of the poor people in this country but as D Ray and Bertie Mae's oldest daughter says at the end, "At least people know who the fuck we are."
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